DIY Idea
Two Letters for a Teacher or Coach — One for Them, One for Their File
Two letters. One for the teacher or coach themselves; one written as a commendation, sent to the person who signs off their reviews, with a copy for the teacher so they know exactly what it says. For a teacher your child has now, or one you had twenty years ago. An evening to write; post or email both work.
Materials
- Two sheets of decent writing paper — anything heavier than printer paper reads as deliberate
- Two envelopes (or two emails), the second addressed to whoever they report to and marked A commendation, plus a copy of that letter for the teacher
- A pen you can write a full page with without your hand aching
- The exact name, spelling and job title of whoever they report to — not a guess
- One dated specific: a week, a match, a lesson, a conversation you can put a date near
- Optional — one nominal token: good tea, a plant cutting, a drawing by your child
One letter tells them it mattered. The other tells the people who decide things.
Instructions
- 01
Get one specific. “Thank you for everything” is what you write when you can’t remember anything. Ask your child the question that produces a scene instead of an adjective: not what do you like about her? but what did she say to you that you still think about? — or when did fractions stop feeling horrible? Write it down in your child’s own words — she let me sit at the front so I could hear — wonky grammar and all. If you’re thanking a teacher you had yourself, the specific is already there: it’s the thing you’ve retold to other people.
- 02
Write the letter to them. One page, four moves, in this order — the specific, dated as closely as you can manage; what changed because of it; the fact that they almost certainly never knew; then stop. Nothing for them to answer, nothing they have to do. Put their name at the top and your own full name at the bottom; someone who has taught for thirty years has had a thousand students and will want to place you.
- 03
Find out who they report to. A head teacher, a principal, a head of department, a director of studies, a club chair, an athletic director — whoever signs off their reviews. The school or club website usually lists it, and one call to the office gets you the correct name and spelling in under a minute. Get the title right. Addressed to the wrong person the letter still arrives, but it arrives as a nice note rather than a commendation.
- 04
Write the second letter as a commendation. Same specific, different reader. Name the teacher in full with their role in the opening line — whoever opens this may be responsible for thirty staff and needs to know which one you mean. Then the specific, then what changed, then one plain sentence saying what you’d like done with the letter: that you’re putting it in writing for their record. Sign with your full name and how you’re connected — a parent, a former student, the years you were there.
- 05
Send them both. Give or send the teacher their letter with a copy of the commendation tucked in, so they know exactly what it says and nothing is being said behind their back. Send the commendation itself to whoever writes their reviews, by post or by email; both count. At a distance, or years on, the school or club office will usually pass either one on.
What to write inside
To them: Dear Ms [name] — you taught Maya last year, and I doubt anyone has told you this. She started the year telling us she was “just bad at reading.” She finished it reading in the back of the car. That was you, and you were never going to hear about it unless somebody wrote it down.
To whoever signs off their reviews: Dear [name] — I’m writing about Ms [name], who taught my daughter last year, and I’d like this letter on her record. Maya began that year describing herself as bad at reading and ended it reading for pleasure. I can tell you what changed; I can’t tell you how she did it. I thought the person who writes her reviews should know.
Sign both with your full name. On the second, add how you’re connected — a parent, a former student, the years you were in the class.
Pro Tips
- The gift policy is the reason, not an excuse. Many schools and clubs cap what a teacher or coach may accept, and in some places accepting more is a conduct matter. That’s precisely why the letters are the gesture and any token stays nominal — tea, a cutting, a drawing. Rules vary, so check theirs before adding anything; the letters on their own are enough.
- Send the second letter even if you never send the first. It’s the half almost nobody does. Written commendations get read out in staff meetings, quoted in appraisals, attached to award nominations, and pulled back out when a contract is up for renewal. A thank-you said at the gate does none of that.
- There’s no right date, and years late isn’t too late. When they hand your child on to the next teacher, when a season finishes, or on a random Tuesday nine years later. A teacher who left a decade ago has no idea what became of any of you; schools and clubs will forward letters to former staff. I was in your class in 2004 and I became a nurse because of how you explained things is the best letter they’ll get all year.
- Promise nothing. No standing invitation you’ll dodge, no “anything you ever need.” This is recognition, not repayment — the moment it carries an obligation in either direction it stops being a gift.